Is Your Phone Controlling You?

In a world where our phones seem glued to our hands, it’s worth asking: Is your phone controlling you, or are you controlling your phone?

As Christians, we’re called to live with intentionality, wisdom, and self-control — but our devices can subtly become idols that steal our time, attention, and even our peace. I honestly have found myself lately making my phone an idol; receiving more of my attention than my own family. However, if you are still in denial about this then I challenge you to ask yourself these three questions:

• Do you check your phone first thing in the morning — before praying or thanking God for a new day?

• Is it hard to put your phone down during meals, conversations, or even church?

• Do you feel anxious or restless when you're without your phone?

• Does screen time leave you feeling drained, not refreshed?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then I would really question yourself “who is in control? Me or my phone?

One of the best things I could do is to make my smartphone equivalent to a flip phone. What I mean by that is removing all of the extra apps. This will look different for each individual. For example, you might find yourself needing to remove ESPN, games, Youtube TV, etc. For me, I needed to remove all of the different shopping apps: (Kroger, Sams, Costco, Thrive Market, Amazon, Target, etc.). In my personal reflection of how I use my phone, I quickly realized that something that once was a strength of mine has turned into an unhealthy trait. What I mean by that, is I have always loved being prepared, organized, and constantly thinking ahead. (One might quickly realize the root of this is control; this is a topic for another time). However, I used to be able to save my grocery list management for evenings when my daughter was fast asleep. However, it turned into constant scrolling through good bargains, constantly looking for healthier/better things, etc. Did I need all of this? No. From my quick personal assessment I realized that dumbing down my phone for me, looked like doing all of my grocery orders on my computer rather than my phone. Yes, this can be inconvenient at times as we are all used to solving problems such as these, in the matter of seconds by opening the app on our phone and selecting “check out”. Now, I allocate time for myself to really assess if this is needed. Most times it is not. 

Reclaiming Control Here’s how to break free and use your phone more intentionally:

• Start Your Day with God, Not Your Phone: Begin your morning with prayer, scripture, or quiet reflection before you check your notifications. For me, I am challenging myself to not have my phone on my nightstand. 

• Set Time Limits: Many phones have built-in screen time trackers — use them to create healthy boundaries. Challenge everyone in your house to have less than 3 hours of screentime.

• Turn Off Non-Essential Notifications: This cuts down on interruptions and helps you stay present.

• Schedule Tech-Free Time: Dedicate parts of your day or week to be completely phone-free — like during meals, family time, or personal devotion.

• Ask God for Help: Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Pray for wisdom and strength to resist the pull of your phone.

Philippians 4:8 “​​Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” This verse reminds us to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Let’s use our devices in ways that reflect those values.

Lastly, The Danger of Distraction Phones are powerful tools, but they can also be powerful distractions. Social media, endless notifications, and constant scrolling pull us away from what matters most — time with God, our families, and meaningful relationships. Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us, "Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." How often do we lose precious moments to mindless browsing? 

Where can you take a baby step today to gain control over your phone?

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Nuturing Godly Friendships

I don’t know about you, but I do not thrive with surface level friendships. In fact, on my first day of work at Rock Solid Families, I shared with a new co-worker about the hard season my family was walking through, only to find out that she could relate! Little did she know, I had prayed on my way to work that God would show up that day to help me feel comfortable and less nervous; I knew this was the answer to that prayer. 

More times than not, surface-level friendships are what most friendships look like in our world today. As we all know, schedules can be too crammed full while losing sight of creating intentionality in relationships. I see this often while working with families, especially families with several kids who are not going by the 1:1:1 rule (1 sport per child per season). We get it…  You’re running to several sporting events, clubs, church activities, etc. However, we believe and know that God calls us to have deeper friendships, and Jesus portrayed this well during his time on Earth. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Let’s explore what makes a friendship truly Godly and how to cultivate these Christ-centered connections.

I’m sure that as some of you are reading this, you are low-key panicking because you know that on the other side of having deeper friendships is the requirement for you to be vulnerable. I hear you, and I know that this is very uncomfortable for you, or may even bring up memories of bad friendships. However, I would really like to know, were your friendships created with healthy boundaries as well as a mutual faith between you and your friend in the first place? If it were a bad relationship, I would guess not.

The Foundation of a Godly Friendship:

A godly friendship starts with a shared faith in Christ. When two people are both committed to loving and following Jesus, their relationship naturally reflects His love. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul encourages believers to "encourage one another and build each other up." A Christ-centered friendship uplifts, supports, and helps both individuals grow spiritually. You will be able to tell whether the friendship lines up with this verse by pausing, reflecting on your conversations, and noticing what you were talking about. Are you gossiping or are you pointing each other to Christ? Are you talking about worldly temptations or are you talking about accountability for each other? I will challenge you and say that if you are finding yourself in the negatives of those questions, then you fully know that this doesn’t feel great or may not be a long-term friendship. What will your conversations be about when you have gossiped about everything or lived such a worldly life that you are completely depleted? There is a whole new world out there on the other side of your biggest fears, so let’s get started! 

Characteristics of a Godly Friendship

• Love and Sacrifice: True friends love selflessly, as Christ loves us (John 15:13).

• Honesty and Accountability: A godly friend tells the truth in love, even when it’s hard (Ephesians 4:15).

• Encouragement: They lift you up when you’re weary and remind you of God’s promises (Hebrews 10:24-25).

• Forgiveness: As Christ forgives us, godly friends extend grace and mercy (Colossians 3:13).

I can remember a friendship that I had found myself in previously. The friendship could easily be captured in one word - CODEPENDENT. We did everything together. If one was sad, the other carried that heaviness and always showed up. There wasn’t much room for God in the friendship, other relationships, or even individual time, because we fully believed that in order to be a good friend, we had to prove it 24/7. How exhausting, right?. As life changed, it was an uncomfortable realization that I was prioritizing my friend over my husband, family, etc. Are you in this season with a friend?. Like I always tell my clients, you are in a good place when you realize this and want to do something different for your life! 

How You Can Cultivate Godly Friendships:

• Pray for the Right Friends: Ask God to bring the right people into your life — those who will draw you closer to Him.

• Be a Godly Friend: Focus on being a blessing to others rather than seeking what you can gain.

• Engage in Faith-Based Activities: Join small groups, Bible studies, or church ministries to meet like-minded believers.

• Invest Time and Effort: Meaningful friendships require intentional time together and vulnerability.

• Reflect: Reflect on the characteristics needed in a Godly friendship that were mentioned above. Do you and your friends obtain these?

Godly friendships are worth pursuing and nurturing. They bring joy, strength, and spiritual growth, reflecting God’s design for community. I would venture to guess that you have someone in your mind who you have always wanted to be in community with, but have felt nervous about approaching - now is your time! Reach out to them, the worst thing that could happen is the timing isn’t right for the other person, in which case I encourage you to try again! God will show you friendships that you should start, or even a small group at church that you should join. I vividly remember the day I was going to a small group where I did not know anyone. I drove the hour to get there, and literally almost turned around and went home. However, I knew very clearly that God told me to go. Long story short, this was a group of friends that I needed in my “single season” of life. While these people are not in my closest group anymore, they were definitely the people that God meant for me in that season of life.

I pray today that you can step into friendships that are fuller, deeper, and more life-giving than where you are at now; you have nothing to lose!

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Being Physically Present With Our Children

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s so easy to get caught up in work, responsibilities, and even digital distractions. But as parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is our presence, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. There are more times than not where I personally am juggling where to spend my time when the house needs to be cleaned and my daughter wants to play; it’s a struggle!

Recently, my church has been discussing the importance of taking a break from our phones. This has been eye-opening to see how it has replaced different times where I could be physically present with my family versus being on my phone “doom scrolling”, shopping, creating grocery orders, etc. 

Throughout His ministry, Jesus was fully present with those around Him. Whether He was healing the sick, teaching His disciples, or welcoming children into His arms, He gave His undivided attention to the people He loved (Mark 10:14). As parents, we are called to reflect this same love and attentiveness to our children.

Why Physical Presence Matters

It Communicates Love – Our presence reassures our children that they are valued. Just as God promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5), we too must strive to be a steady, present force in our kids’ lives.

It Builds Security and Trust – Kids feel safe when they know their parents are available to them. Being present during their highs and lows strengthens the parent-child bond and fosters trust.

It Creates Lasting Memories – Childhood passes quickly. The moments we spend playing, laughing, listening, and praying together are the ones our children will remember the most.

I recently felt a “God nudge” when I was in the midst of hurrying my daughter along from looking at something, so in return, I could get to what I wanted to do. This brought a vulnerable conversation with my husband where I could see how I do this more often than not. I’d venture to say that I am not the only parent who struggles with this at times. Once again, it can be hard to juggle responsibilities.

Ways to Be More Present

1. Limit Distractions – Put away the phone, turn off the TV, and give your full attention to your child when they’re talking to you.

2. Prioritize Face-to-Face Time – Family meals, bedtime routines, and spontaneous playtime are all opportunities to be present.

3. Listen with Intentionality – James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” Give your kids space to express themselves, knowing they have your full attention.

4. Make Time for Spiritual Growth – Pray together, read Bible stories, and model a life centered on Christ. Your presence in their faith journey will shape their relationship with God.

We recently started prioritizing eating our meals together at our dining room table (which was only used for when guests came over). Previously, we all sat at our kitchen counter, all lined up in a row. This prohibits face-to-face conversations. Now we get to be more physically present with each other, and to make it more special, we light candles at the table every night. It is all about baby steps. What baby step can you take to start being more physically present with the children in your life, your own or friends, family members or neighbors?

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."  -  This requires us to be intentional, slow down, and look for the teachable moments. 

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Creating a Life of Proactivity & Not Passiveness

Many Christians struggle with the idea of setting boundaries simply because they fear they might not appear Christ-like. The underlying reason for this could be due to the fear of hurting others, causing conflict, or even appearing unkind. So, instead of setting healthy boundaries to eliminate these “reasons”, we tend to passively endure unhealthy situations. Have you been there? This cycle is not biblical. Within this blog we will be unpacking what it looks like to set boundaries out of love, wisdom, and truth;  NOT out of fear, guilt, or anger. 

If you’re reading this and wondering where you might be more reactive than proactive, I want you to reflect on your parenting style, friendships, and even work relationships. More often than not, whenever we see families in our office, they have arrived at a place where they have been functioning out of reactivity, feeling hopeless, throwing in the towel, and defeated. We recently did a podcast “Do Your Kids Know Your Soft Spots?”. This podcast episode provides you with clear action steps along with relatable stories on how you might be feeling. I’d recommend checking it out if you feel like your kids are calling the shots!

Many times when people hear the word boundaries, it means being harsh, aggressive, or selfish. However, boundaries come from a place of security in Christ, not from a reaction to others. I want you to pause and reflect on that; NOT from a reaction to others. How many times have you found yourself there? When you are making decisions based on emotions or the reaction to a situation that happened? Red flag! This is you functioning in reactivity. Moving forward, we will be talking about how you can take ownership of your life without blaming others. 

• A reactive person avoids conflict, suppresses feelings, and lets resentment build. Eventually you will see them lash out in anger or withdraw completely. 

• A proactive person prayerfully sets boundaries, communicates with wisdom, and lives in peace. 
  

Personally, I have been this reactive person before. For me, this looked like over-committing to try to “prove myself”, whenever that was never needed. This over-committing lifestyle happened in my career and relationships. I remember when I first got married, up until having a baby, I would be busy every night with getting together with friends to prove that I cared about them. This all came to an uncomfortable realization when my baby was born and I was stuck at home with doctor’s orders that I could not walk or drive for 3 weeks. This led to me having a wake-up call to see how I was finding my identity in what everyone else thought of me and not what God thinks of me.  Boy did I have priorities all wrong! Thank God for his grace and patience to show me how he calls me to prioritize my life. This is something I’m learning daily. God gives me the same power as he does you to set healthy boundaries!

2nd Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

Steps Towards being Proactive VS Reactive:

1. Recognize and Process Your Emotions: Before setting boundaries, identify what you’re feeling. 

2. Set Boundaries Before You Feel Overwhelmed: Set limits when you are calm and clear, not when you are angry or hurt. 

3. Communicate Clearly and Kindly: Practice assertive and loving communication:

Examples: 

a.)  “I’m tired of you taking advantage of me.” vs. “I value our friendship, but I cannot commit to this right now.” 

b.) "You’re always dumping your problems on me, and I can’t take it anymore!" vs.
"I care about you, but I can’t be your only source of emotional support. Have you considered talking to a counselor or support group?"

c.) "I can’t believe you expect me to drop everything for you! It’s so unfair!" vs.
"I love our family, but I also need to set some personal boundaries to balance my time and commitments."

d.) "You’re always late! You clearly don’t respect me or my time!" vs.
"I’d love to meet with you, but I can only wait for 15 minutes. If you’re running late, let’s reschedule."

e.) "You’re so negative all the time! I can’t stand being around you!" vs.
"I value our relationship, but I need to surround myself with more positivity. If you ever want to talk about solutions instead of just problems, I’d love to listen."

f.) "You never listen to me! I’m done talking to you!" vs.
"I want to have a healthy conversation, but I need to be spoken to with respect. Let’s continue when we can both listen to each other calmly."

4.) Let Go of the Fear of Displeasing Others: Proactive people are NOT people pleasers. 

1. Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

5.) Trust God with the Outcome: Whenever people receive the boundary, they might respond negatively; that is not your responsibility to carry.

I pray that this encourages you to live a life of freedom that only God can provide, and not living under the pressure of others opinions or juothers’dgements. You have what it takes to be proactive and live a healthier life!

WWW.ROCKSOLIDFAMILIES.ORG

Love & Respect from your spouses perspective

The topic of Love and Respect is one Rock Solid Families has covered before. But this time we are approaching it from two very different perspectives - A husband’s perspective and a wife’s perspective.

Understanding what love and respect mean to your spouse is like learning an entirely new language. Things you thought you understood may come back to only cause more confusion and conflict. Emerson Eggerich, author of the book Love and Respect, explains that the different languages between husbands and wives are not necessarily right or wrong, they are just different. The key to success in the relationship is understanding the language differences and how to be a better interpreter.

Ladies, when it comes to understanding our man's perspective of love & respect, we can follow the language of the C.H.A.I.R.S:

C – Conquest & compliments. Men want to conquer, or overcome, something. Saying things like, “I really appreciate how hard you work to make sure our family is taken care of” means a lot to them. Men have a natural desire to provide for their family. Wives, if you are the bread winner, focus of how well he takes care of the kids, his handiwork projects, etc. Compliment your man’s work not only to him, but also in front of other people. Fill his desire to be the knight in shining armor.

H – Hierarchy. This is the level of position or authority. Biblically, the man is the head of the wife like Christ is the church. He is the last step of authority when it comes to raising and disciplining kids. If women dismiss the man’s authority, the man will start to pull away from situations where he feels his decisions and authority is being questioned or taken away, and he will shut down. Women, empower your man to feel like they are the provider, protector and spiritual leader.  

A – Authority. Don’t undermine, or take his voice away in the household. This runs hand in hand with hierarchy. If a man is not doing a good job with his authority (cowering, easily manipulated by kids, etc.) he’s not being firm. Encourage your husband to be the authority. And if you don’t agree with something he is doing or saying, work it out privately so kids don’t think you are questioning their dads’ authority.

I – Insight. Insight that a man brings to the decision-making process. (perspective) Don’t think your ideas or thoughts are more important or always right. Bickering over things that don’t really matter, or are simply your preferences won’t get you anywhere. Allow the back and forth, but allow his input. Don’t demean or dismiss his input/ thoughts, or this shuts him out and he doesn’t want to participate in conversation anymore. If you need him to just listen, tell him you just want him to listen, or else he will try to fix it.

R – Relationship. Beyond being married, are you friends? Do you value our time together? Do you connect on a variety of interest? Kids cannot be your only glue! Find something you have in common to enjoy together. She sheds and man caves are dangerous – it brings disconnection because often men and women will retreat to these places and it gives a message you don’t want anyone else in your space. Time together is encouraged. Men are okay with shoulder-to-shoulder relationship, which is having their wife sitting near them and not even necessarily talking, just simply being nearby.

S – Sexuality. God wired us differently, Thank God! Work out what healthy intimacy looks like for your marriage. Discuss this with your husband and come up with a plan that’s maintainable and healthy. This could be daily or 2-3 times a week. Ladies, it is important that you try to initiate more often and respond more joyfully. I know, you’re saying “It’s hard sometimes!”, But acknowledge that there are temptations, and you should support him intimately to keep his eyes and temptations towards you. Just acknowledge that you want to be intimate and will work with him on doing so in a way that works for both of you.

Men, you’re probably nodding your head in agreeance after reading through the CHAIRS acrostic, but now you’re in the hot seat! How do you make sure your wife feels loved & respected? When it comes to speaking our wife’s language of Love & Respect, we should follow the acrostic COUPLE:

C – Closeness. This could look as simple as hand holding in public. Don’t dismiss your woman wanting to feel connected, or that your lady might want you to be proud of being with her. Physical touch should NOT always lead to sexual engagement.  Non-sexual touches carry great values with the ladies.

O – Openness. This is when a woman feels confident in knowing how YOU feel. You being open with her about your feelings, and communicating so she doesn’t have to guess is important. On the flip side, she wants you to ask her how she is doing and feeling also. Ladies & Gents, pick your time wisely – don’t ask these types of questions as he is walking out the door, or as she is falling asleep.

U – Understanding. Women need men to understand and empathize with them. Show that you appreciate all we do. In episode # 307 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda use the example of Christmas dinner… Typically the woman will cook, clean the house, do the shopping, wrap everyone’s gifts, and the man might carve the turkey. Women, you can’t assume that men know what else needs to be done, so be open and tell them how they can help.

P – Peacemaking. Men, just admitting when you are wrong can make a huge difference. Acknowledge when you are wrong or mess up, but also offer forgiveness when your wife has messed up or is wrong. It goes a long way. “Just own it!” – Jocko Willink. If you say sorry, you need to also change your actions – that’s the difference between peace making and peace keeping.

L – Loyalty. Women feel loyalty from men when they don’t look at other women, watch pornography, when they speak positively to them and about them. If you as a man are bouncing eyes at other women, throwing your wife under the bus, threatening / joking about divorce, poking fun at her expense… it undermines the feeling of loyalty. Women want to feel like you aren’t going anywhere. Women feel loved when they feel that their men are loyal. Loyalty = Security.

E – Esteem. This is when wives feel treasured, honored, cherished. Be her cheer leader, verbally support her, honor her, praise her, make her feel valued. The opposite of this would look like you throwing her under the bus, making her the bud of all your jokes. Eventually it will wear her down and she won’t feel that same honor or praise of being your wife.

Check out the 2-episode series “love & respect” on the Rock Solid Families Podcast to get more in depth about how husbands and wives can best show their love & respect for each other. Episode one covers this topic from the man's perspective, talking about how husbands interpret the language of love and respect and how the ladies can do better to understand his language. Episode two covers the topic from the woman's perspective, and how her interpretation of love and respect is different than the men, but not in a better or worse way. You can listen to both episodes by clicking HERE!

Six ways to start the new school year off strong!

The start of a new school year comes with many feelings and emotions for both students and teachers. Some students are excited to get their new backpacks, school supplies, new shoes, and to see their friends. Others are anxious about starting a new school, a new sport, or riding the school bus. This goes for teachers too as they prepare for new students, work with new families, and prepare curriculum.

On episode # 297 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson dive into the topics of setting routines, holding boundaries, managing schedules, and the importance of communication. Believe it or not, all of these things relate to the start of the school year and can make or break your student’s experience when going back to school. Below, we list Merrill and Linda’s top six tips for starting the school year off on the right foot.

six ways to ensure you start the school year off on the right foot:

1. Find and implement consistent routines. For some, this may be starting bedtime a bit earlier, turning screens off an hour before bed, or reading with their kids before bed to relax. Another great routine to practice is eating dinner as a family together each night. This time can be used to talk and unpack how everyone's day went, discuss how your kids are feeling about school or sports, and is an extra time to connect in a tech-free environment. It is also important to have your students participate in these new routines, whether it’s setting out their own clothes the night before school or helping pack lunches before getting ready for bed. This helps alleviate the chaos of getting out the door in the morning and helps teach them independence and responsibility. 
   

2. Set your priorities early. This piggybacks off of our first point… oftentimes our culture tells us that busy/full calendars = good parenting. This is a lie from the enemy! Most of the time, when our students have an overly busy schedule, it leads to anxiety and burnout, especially in our elementary-aged students. To avoid these unnecessary anxieties or burnout, we recommend prioritizing your family and marriage over filling your time with activities. Having time set aside for family will help your students recognize their safe place where they can unwind, relax, and feel safe.
   

3. Don’t get consumed by all the “extras”. This goes beyond the extracurricular activities and sports practices, especially for our middle school and high school students. We hear all the time about parents who are working multiple jobs or working 60+ hours a week just so their kid can play on traveling sports teams, have the nicest back-to-school clothes, have the name-brand cleats and helmets for sports, the best electronics and accessories, or whatever the next best thing is. Providing all of these “extras” can often lead to burnout and anxiety for parents, and ultimately it distracts the students from what is actually important - their education. 
   

4. Teachers need your partnership. We encourage you to get to know your kids teachers, counselors and coaches. Support them and partner with them throughout the year to build a relationship and trust. This helps them know that you are on their team and have the same goal of making sure your kid has the best experience possible. 
   

5. Teach your kids to connect with their teachers. A simple “Good Morning Mrs. Smith, how are you today?” not only teaches your kids how to build connections with other people, but helps them develop skills to recognize the feelings, emotions, and needs of others around them. This is the same for teachers as well. Once that relationship with your student is built, they may recognize different reactions or responses from your student that tell them your kid has had a bad morning, is tired, or is having a great day! 
   

6. Set the tone for how the school year should be approached. There are 3 ways we can set the tone - In a negative way, a neutral way, or a positive way. A negative tone for school might be set when your student hears you complaining about the administration or rules set by the district.  Or maybe you didn’t like school growing up, so you dont think your children should take it so seriously. A neutral tone would be if parents aren’t invested in their students' school life outside of the required meetings and signed paperwork. A positive tone is set when you encourage your children by saying things like “Your teacher is trying their best!” or “It's going to be a great day at school today!”  We recommend that if you have any issues with the staff, administration, or teachers, you use the Matthew 18 principle and go directly to them to work out whatever the issue is. If they don’t respond, grab another staff member or administrator and have them go with you to talk through the issue.

This school year, we encourage you to lean into your children. Talk to them about their days and reassure them that the anxieties they may be feeling around school, sports, or riding the bus can be resolved either as a family or by partnering with the school. Teachers and coaches are there to support you as parents and make the transition into a new year easier. If you need to talk through the anxieties or struggles that your family is facing at the start of a new school year, please give us a call at 812-576-7625 and we can chat and provide you with additional resources and support to make sure your child's school year starts on the right foot! 

To listen to the full “Back To School” podcast episode from Rock Solid Families, Click HERE

For more content related to faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

What is the adoption and fostering process REALLY like?

The movie Sound of Hope is based on a true story about the town of Possum Trot Texas, and how the community came together and adopted 77 children who were in the foster care system at that time. The movie depicts the process of fostering and adopting well, without showing some of the most grueling details… but when watching the film, your mind can put the pieces together and imagine the awful experiences some of these kids went through. 

We are called to protect the orphans and the widows. In the bible, Proverbs 31:8 reminds us that we should speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and James 1:27 tells us that pure religion is understanding who God is in our lives, and how he wants us to show up in the lives of those around us. It takes sacrifice of what we want and need to help other people. 

As many people know, the founders of Rock Solid Families, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson, adopted 3 children in 2017. These children were in the school that Merrill worked in at the time. This was their 5th school and 5th family, and when he caught wind that they were going to be separated and sent to different homes in different parts of the state, he went home and asked Linda what she thought about adopting them.

Much like one of the main characters in the Sound of Hope film, Linda Hutchinson had a passion for adopting. She didn't think the opportunity would present itself after her 2 biological children had graduated and moved out of the house, but God’s timing doesn’t always align with our own.

When considering fostering or adopting, it is so easy to have “Rose-colored glasses” on. You start to imagine the life that you can provide for the child you are adopting, whether it’s imagining birthday parties, family vacations, sports games, or Christmas mornings. But outside of those initial heartwarming feelings, there are difficulties, challenges, and baggage.

Based on their own experiences, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson share with us 7 things to consider when you are considering fostering or adopting children.

1. Are you all in? When fostering or adopting, a child's heart is at stake. This process is not just something you can “try it for a little while” to see how it goes. The child in your care needs mom and dad to be on the same page from the beginning so that they can provide a secure and stable home environment.
   

2. Take off the rose-colored glasses. As mentioned earlier, this is the period where you are feeling heartwarming emotions as you imagine the life you will be able to give a child. This is similar to lust. But fostering and adopting is more comparable to love - it is a choice and the process comes with challenges that you need to be willing to work through. 
   

3. Examine your expectations…and then lower them. This goes for expectations of yourself, your family and your friends. Its easy to think that once the child is officially adopted, life will go back to “normal”, but that simply isn’t always the case. There will be an adjustment period where you navigate living together, how to approach communication, how to handle each other's emotions, and observe how they interact with your family and friends. You will need to be realistic, and plan for extending lots of grace during that initial transition. 
   

4. Ask yourself, Is God at the center of my decision? If you don’t have the wisdom of God’s word, you don’t have what is needed to get through the challenges of the adoption process by yourself. It requires prayer, constantly inviting God into the process to reveal next steps and His extended grace. 
   

5. Evaluate your resources. Who do you have that is going to be on your team? Is it family, church friends? Neighbors? They will be your village during this process, so it is important that they are supportive. The foster care system will also provide some material resources, but when you are doing it for the right reasons, God will provide through your community support. 
   

6. Recognize that  you will have “nay-sayers”. There will be people who don’t think you should adopt. They will say things like “You don’t know what you’re doing.” or “This realy isn’t a good idea.” This may plant seeds of doubt and fear in your mind, but the decision is between Mom, Dad and God. Not the nay-sayers. Remember, once you commit to this process, there is no turning back, so don’t let their negative words get in the way of the process.
   

7. There will be several seasons of the adoption process. Just like there are seasons of parenting, there will be seasons of adopting. The early seasons will be full of awkward moments, figuring out what memories from the past triggers the child, and testing the boundaries. Seasons after that will start to feel more comfortable, where they start to get more comfortable calling you by the names you agreed upon – whether its Mom and Dad or by your first names. 

Our challenge to you is to not only consider how adoption changes the life of a child, but how it can change YOU as well. We encourage you to listen to Episode # 269 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast to hear the heartwarming comments about how adoption changed both Merrill and Linda for the better! 

For more content related to Faith, Family, and Fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

How do you share the Good News with a friend?

It is more than likely that we all have someone in our lives that we can share our faith with. A friend, neighbor, co-worker, or family member who doesn’t know Jesus Christ or who may be in a season of hopelessness. But how do we do that? Some of us aren’t confident enough, aren’t bold enough, or maybe want to do it for selfish reasons of bringing someone to Christ versus doing it because the Holy Spirit laid it on our hearts.

Before we share our own faith, it is important we ask ourselves a few questions first to help evaluate our hearts and intentions…

• Am I modeling an authentic relationship with Christ myself? Am I leading my example? James 2: 14 - 17 reminds us faith without action is dead.

• Have I prayed for this person in your life? Ask God for an open door to share your faith with them. Invite the Holy Spirit into the process. Mark 13: 10 - 12 tells us not to worry about finding the words to say, because God will give us the words to say through the Holy Spirit. Be sure your heart is also open to accepting the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and that your intentions are pure and not selfish.

• Do you know their faith background? Maybe they dont have a faith background, or maybe they have a broken background. Understanding this will help you know where to start in a conversation about faith.

When sharing our faith with others, we need to be BOLD, but also remember that “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18) So approach these conversations with sensitivity, understanding, and wisdom knowing that with friendship comes trust, and it takes a lot of trust to openly discuss faith with others around you.

Once you’ve asked yourself the questions above and evaluated your intentions, you can approach the conversation about faith with family and friends by following six simples steps:

1.) Pick a time when you can talk without any distractions and a place that favors good conversation. This may be over coffee or lunch, walking around the park, or a long drive in the car.

2.) Start by acknowledging how important their friendship is. This will help set the grounds that the conversation to follow is happening out of LOVE and not judgment or condemnation.

3.) Ask open-ended questions. This allows them to answer on a level they are comfortable with and helps you know how to engage on their level. A great example might be, “We don’t talk much about faith, and I’m curious where you stand or what your experience has been.”

4.) Use your own life experience to relate to them and explain how your faith impacted those struggles and experiences. Doing this offers empathy and understanding in the relationship.

5.) Recognize that there are going to be differences in everyone’s walk of faith. Just because you had the conversation and planted the seeds doesn’t mean they will automatically catch up to where you are on your own journey or even have the same faith background. It’s okay to disagree, but be sure to always keep the friendship in good standing.

6.) Offer resources. Invite them to church, recommend books to read, or ask if they need prayer.

All of these steps plant practical seeds in their lives and although we plant seeds, we may not see the fruit of our labor. The walk of faith is a process, not a rush. We must trust that God’s plan and timing are better than ours and that His living water will continue to water the seeds that we have planted in our family and friends.

Remember that our own testimony is the most powerful tool to bring others to Christ, so we must protect our faith and not give into the ways of the world. We challenge you to be BOLD and COURAGEOUS and to share your faith with someone in your life.

To hear more about sharing faith with those around you, listen to episode # 295 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, where Merrill and Linda Hutchinson dive deeper into this topic and provide real-life applications and share experiences from their own walks of faith.

For more content like this, focusing on faith, family, fitness, and everything in between, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on Youtube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

What does a "Strong Dad" look like?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) a father had 2 sons. One was a rule follower and the other was more of a rebel. The rebellious son had asked for his inheritance early, and when he received it, he fled from his father’s home to go “live it up” in a distant city.

After blowing through his inheritance, he finds himself with nothing left and decides to return home. Upon his return, his father is relieved to see him alive and to have him back….so much so that he throws a party to celebrate!

Now remember, a parable is not a true story. Parables are Jesus’ way of creating a human understanding of God's qualities and desires for us. In this parable, the father of the prodigal son is manifesting the role of God our Father - celebrating His children opening their eyes and turning to Him!

In episode # 291 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson deep dive into the story of the prodigal son and reveal 6 characteristics of the father in the story that help us understand what it means to be a “Strong dad” today.  Those 6 characteristics are outlined below:

Six Characteristics of a “Strong Dad”:

1.       Unconditional Love: In the parable of the prodigal son, the father's love transcends his son's rebellion. He doesn't withhold affection as punishment. For Dads Today: Show your love consistently through your actions and words. Let your children know they are loved regardless of their choices.  You don’t have to love their choices but work hard to love them through their choices. When you see a bad choice make sure to separate them from the choice in your judgment.  For example, say “Your choice is ridiculous.” versus  “You are ridiculous”.

 2.       Allow Freewill - The father of the prodigal son did not try to stop, redirect, or even threaten his son to change his mind.  He allowed the son to make his own decision to leave. For Dads Today, obviously we are not recommending this for a young child.  But as our children turn into young adults, we must strongly consider releasing them to their ways. 

3.       Patient Trust vs Aggressive Chase: The father in the parable waits patiently rather than running after his son. He trusts that there is going to be good that comes from all of this. He may have felt impatient and wanted God to deliver his son back to him faster, but this is not mentioned in the parable.  For Dads Today: Practice patience. Growth takes time. Trust your children's ability to learn their own lessons and make amends.

4.       Unending Desire for Restoration: The father in the parable never “writes him off”.  He's constantly aware and watching for his return.  For Dads Today: Be observant. Pay attention to your children's subtle cues, their joys and struggles. Be present in their lives.

5.       Unconditional Forgiveness: The father of the prodigal son doesn't look at his son and say, “You need to apologize to me before I can forgive you.”   He embraces his son the moment he sees him, demonstrating immense compassion.  For Dads Today: Focus on reconciliation, not punishment. Let forgiveness be a bridge to rebuild the relationship and mutual respect.

6.       Celebrate God’s Work: The father throws a feast, not out of obligation, but out of joy for his son's return. He gives freely, restoring his son's dignity. For Dads Today: Be generous with your love, time, and resources. Celebrate your children's victories, big and small.

To listen to the full Rock Solid Families podcast episode on this topic, click HERE.

For more content related to faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org