In this Spring season, I wonder how many of us can’t wait for summer? The warm weather, long sunny days, kids off school - running around and playing, vacations, etc. But then during the summer, I would hear people say “Man, I can’t wait until the fall!” They can’t wait for football season to start back up, the weather to change and cool down, the leaves to change color, and some people can’t wait for school to begin so the kids have a place to go! All this to say, does anyone else seem like it’s a never ending cycle of looking forward to the next thing? The next vacation, the next iPhone upgrade, the next car, the next season, the next date night, etc. All of this looking forward to the next thing, makes life pass by so fast. It makes me think of that Rascal Flatts song called Mayberry. This is the opening lyrics for those who don’t know it:
“Sometimes it feels like this world's spinning faster than it did in the old days. So, naturally, we have more natural disasters, from the strain of a fast pace. Sunday was a day of rest, now it's one more day for progress. And we can't slow down, cause more is best, it's all an endless process.”
What has caused us all to be less present in the here and now and constantly looking out for the next thing? For each of us, that exact answer might differ, but in general I believe there are a few things causing us to look ahead: the rise of youth sports (or sports in general), smartphones and social media, and defining success. All these major elements play some factor in many of our lives.
As a former high school coach and teacher, I heard it all the time “We’ve got another volleyball tournament to travel to this weekend.” You can replace volleyball with basketball or baseball. I remember playing baseball during the summer and we got somewhere between 25-40 games for a travel team. Now kids are playing around 50-75 games per summer! I don’t know if it’s just my own point of view, but I see less kids playing around neighborhoods because they are at practices so often.
With smartphones you get all access, all the time. You can email at home, respond back to your boss on the way to church, stay connected on the unbelievable March Madness basketball game instead of waiting until you get home to watch or catch the highlights. There is no “off” switch anymore. And I believe that’s part of the problem of life seemingly racing past like a blur.
When we look at successful people, that metric has changed so much over the last 10-15 years. Some of us measure worth by how productive we are. In order for that to happen, we say yes more often than we say no. And there never seems to be a quiet moment because there’s always something to do. Life didn’t just get busier, we gave up structures that protected the slowness of life. We don’t have natural stopping points, we continue to do things even at home. Most of us don’t have built in rest rhythms through the day, week, or even the year. And the constant access we get from our phones and social media equals constant demand.
If this resonates with you and you feel the pressure of wanting to slow down but don’t know how, then let me help give you a few tips that might help.
1.) First off, the goal is intentionality. Let’s be intentional with our time, let’s be present where we are, and we need to be intentional with saying no and having regular rhythms of rest. For some of us, an easy thing we can do to help create space in our lives to be more intentional is to let something go or to say no. This two letter word can be very hard for some of us to say. And we feel that if we don’t say yes to whatever they are asking of us, it won’t get done. But I promise, there are others who can help - it doesn’t all have to be from you.
2.) Let’s be intentional with creating space in our lives and in our regular work week to unplug. Find time each day either before or after work where you can slow down. It doesn’t need to be long, just 30 minutes might really help some of us. But that intentionality to slow down, maybe just sit and watch the clouds roll by having our morning coffee can really help.
Also, throughout the week is there a 12-24 hour period we can rest? Say no to work, no to emails or kids projects that need to get done, no social media and just relax. I know having a full day of rest might be hard for some of us to do, but are there any rhythms we can build in that allow us to recharge and recover?
3.) One last thing that might help is defining success. Are we successful because we have the latest KIA Telluride model available? Are we successful because our schedules constantly have us going from one event to the next and one season into another - kids constantly on the go? Or is success determined in other ways? For example, joy. I have joy in my life and in my family. Joy doesn’t come in an iPhone box, it’s not posted on my social media platform, and it doesn’t rush on constantly looking forward to the next thing. As we head into summer, how can you be intentional with your time?