I know I’m showing my age here but one of my favorite singers of all time is Celine Dion. She could belt a ballad like no other. In 1997 she released a song called “Let’s Talk About Love”. Love is one of the most powerful words in the English language and yet at the same time one of the most overused and misunderstood too. We often use the same word to describe how we feel about our dog, pizza, and our spouse. Sometimes in that order. While love is universal, not all love is the same. Ancient Greek culture recognized the complexity and importance of this word and gave us several distinct words for love, each describing a different expression. There is more than what we’re going to talk about today, but I want to focus on four main ones. I believe having a better understanding of these different forms of love can deepen our relationships, strengthen our communities, and ultimately point us toward the kind of love the world desperately needs most: agape love.
Eros: Romantic Love
Eros is the kind of love most often celebrated in movies, songs, and novels. You know the stuff you don’t want anyone to see you watching or reading. It’s often romantic, passionate, and emotionally charged. This love draws people in through attraction and desire, but it is also fragile and temporary. Because it is rooted in feelings, it can be like riding a bad rollercoaster with highs, lows, and twists based on circumstances, stress, or unmet expectations. (I’m sorry if that offends rollercoaster fanatics but I’m not a fan). When eros alone is the foundation of a relationship, it will struggle when life gets hard or the feelings fade. How many of us have memories of a “true love” that didn’t last? I know I do.
Philia: Friendship Love
Philia describes the deep affection shared between friends. I’m sure you’ve heard Philadelphia called the “city of brotherly love”. That’s where the city’s name comes from. It is marked by loyalty, mutual respect, shared experiences, and trust. This is the love that shows up, listens, laughs, and walks alongside us through life. Philia is essential for healthy friendships and thriving communities. It reminds us that love is not just something we feel; it is something we practice through presence and commitment. I am thankful for the abundant friendships in my life who have shown up time and time again.
Storge: Familial Love
Storge is the natural bond found within most families. It is often quiet and steady, built through years of doing life together, but it is a love that still requires intentionality and nurturing. I use the words “most families” because there are some who will read this and feel like they’ve never experienced storge. I’m sorry if that’s your story, but God has provided another way besides blood. I am so thankful for the storge love I have with my family, my husband’s family, and my church family. They have been a HUGE source of support and encouragement for me over the years. Families are strongest when this love is protected with patience, forgiveness, and authenticity.
Agape: Unconditional, Sacrificial Love
The highest and most powerful form of love is Agape Love. Agape is unconditional, sacrificial, and selfless. It is not based on feelings, performance, or worthiness. Instead, agape is a conscious decision to love without expecting anything in return. It is the love that forgives when it would be easier to walk away, serves when no one is watching, and stays when circumstances are difficult. This love is not dependent on how someone treats us; it is anchored in a decision to value another person above ourselves.
As a Christian, I believe agape love is most clearly revealed through God’s love for all of us. Scripture reminds us that “God is love,” and that His love is demonstrated not through perfection, but through unconditional sacrifice. The greatest example of agape love was Jesus Christ giving up his life for us. This kind of love moves toward brokenness, not away from it. It heals, restores, and can completely transform our lives.
When we begin to understand and practice agape love, something remarkable happens. Our relationships deepen. Our homes grow stronger. Our communities become more compassionate. And slowly, the world begins to look a little more like it was always meant to be. I’ve personally experienced this agape love more times than I can count, especially over the past six months. People have gone above and beyond for our family during a time when we could give nothing back. I’m so thankful for a God who loved me unconditionally and sacrificially, and my goal is to love others with that same agape love as long as I have breath. In a world searching for meaning and connection, agape love stands as a powerful reminder to us all. Love is not just something we FEEL. It is something we DECIDE to do.
Linda Hutchinson is the Executive Director of Rock Solid Families, a faith-based coaching organization with offices in St. Leon and Lawrenceburg, IN.