Never Enough

It was one of those days. I’m sure you’ve had them too. No matter what you said or did, it was never enough. That was me last Friday.  No school, no power, and three kids who were sick of being together but too cold to go outside. And yes, a mother who was ready for them to go back to school. PLEEEASE, Lord let them go back to school!!

NOPE! At 5:15 am on Friday morning, we got the call. Day TWO of no school, but praise God through the night our power had come back on. Thank you, Jesus at least we had power! Some of our family and friends around us were not as lucky which is why they had to call off school again. Let’s face it; an ice storm is not much fun to play in while you’re off school. Our three youngest still woke up super early and excited because it was Friday, and they had plans for the weekend. All three of them had been invited to spend the weekend with their former foster family. They were excited about celebrating the birthday of their former foster sister. She was turning 5. They could not wait to get there. They had their bags packed sitting by the door first thing in the morning, and then the wait began.

They figured if they were off, everyone should be off. They could start the festivities early. They had dreams of going over our friend’s house before lunch and playing with the birthday girl. They assumed they were getting picked up early and most definitely eating dinner with them, but that wasn’t our original plan. Most of us have this thing called “work”. It’s a really strange thing that adults do when children go to school. You’ve probably experienced it too.

I say all this to set the stage for the kind of day we had. It wasn’t pretty. Nothing I said or did was enough. Trust me, I would have been ecstatic if they would have gotten their wish and gotten to go over early. I had a list of things I was hoping to get done at work and at home before the weekend began, which left me in a pretty frustrated mood.

By the time, the kids left the house at 6pm, we had ALL had enough of each other. Merrill and I decided to go to the movies that night to blow off some steam. We talked the whole way down to Greendale Cinemas sharing our hearts and struggles with each other. Here we were leading a new ministry called Rock Solid Families, and at that moment we didn’t feel very Rock Solid. We were also preparing to tape our weekly radio show, Rock Solid Radio and felt totally unworthy to speak with any kind of authority or expertise. Satan was having a field day with both of us. He was in our heads having a field day.

In God’s divine timing, you won’t believe the movie we went to see that night.  It was Instant Family about a couple adopting three hard to place foster children. It was one I had wanted to see for a long time, but I had no idea how God would use it in that moment. We laughed. I cried. (I think Merrill did too but I can’t confirm. It was dark.) That has been our story...every stinking scene we could relate to. We drove home that night shocked at how real that movie was and how relatable it was to our story.

When we got home, we got ready for bed. Merrill and I laid in bed and prayed together as we do every night. We prayed for each other, we prayed for all five of our children, our daughter in laws, our two grand babies, our ministry, the families we work with, and then the tears started to flow for me. In that moment, I cried out to the Lord and asked for his forgiveness. I asked him to help me in my weakness as a wife and mom. I asked for his forgiveness for my struggles that day with the kids. We both finished praying and kissed each other good night.

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As I laid there still beating myself up over my day, I heard God speak to me. No, I didn’t hear his audible voice, but I did hear him very clearly speak into my spirit that night. I heard the Lord say….”Linda, you’re not ROCK SOLID, I am!” “You were never meant to be. That’s my job, not yours!” If you try to do it on your own….you’ll never be enough.  I can not tell you how those words from the Lord ministered to my heart that Friday night. I went to sleep that night with such a peace, not because I was good enough, but because He was!

Maybe you need to hear those words from the Lord too. Folks, we will NEVER be enough! That’s not His design for us to be on our own. He’s the Rock-not us!  Check out the scripture we had up in our Rock Solid Families fitness room that very same week. This was what the Lord said to the apostle Paul as he battled those same insecure thoughts and what He’s saying to you and I today…. ““My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.(2 Cor. 12:9-10 NLT)

We’re going to be talking more about the subject of NEVER ENOUGH on our Rock Solid Radio show on Sunday, December 16 from 7:30-8:00 pm on Eagle Country 99.3 FM. We’d love for you to tune in and even join in on the conversation. Remember He’s the Rock-not us! He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:2)